My Costume Man

I saw a picture of myself 2 months ago and freaked. It wasn't a full body shot, it was a picture of my cankles. I used to have nice ankles - WHAT HAPPENED!????! I decided I needed to get rid of my cankles fast, so in the great words of Liza Minnelli; "I went back to class."
JULY 22, 2010
I joined my friend Cindy in taking Richard Simmons aerobics class. I had taken his class back in 1999, when I lost over 60 lbs. by doing his work out tapes. He told me back then that I should get certified as an aerobics instructor, so I could work out and keep the weight off while inspiring others. Of course that never happened, but I was so nervous to take his class again. It was hard, that 1st class but I made it and felt much better afterwards. Richard inspires me to work out, basically by yelling or drooling in my face. He makes working out fun, each class is like a party. I've been going back regularly. I haven't lost much weight, but I feel much better.

Well 2 weeks ago he gave me a hug, and I noticed how great that he smelled. He said it was Jo Malone, whom I'd never heard of before. Anyway, he told me it was a new favorite sent of his. I was bound to find it, so Sunny and I went to the Grove but little did I know that Jo Malone had over 30 scents! I smelled all of them, and couldn't find that particular one. The next day at class, Richard brought in the bottle and sprayed it on me! After class he asked me how I liked it, and of course I told him I loved it and he said he was going to bring me some.


Fast forward to last Tuesday night. I was so excited to work out, and I got dressed and ready to go, but I had a headache and decided to take a short cat nap. Bad idea. I didn't hear the alarm, and woke up too late to go to class. I was so bummed! Well Cindy called me and said that Richard gave her a present to give to me!!! It was the cologne!!! Blue Agava and Cacao - basically tequila and chocolate - no wonder I love it so much!!!!! And he left a wonderful card for me in which he wrote on the outside " My Costume Man" and on the inside "Just Because" I am so overwhelmed. I have never received such a nice gift from someone who I barely know, let alone a celebrity! I really can't comprehend such a nice gesture, he went to a lot of work getting it and the card - which he wrote with a calligraphy pen. I am going to give him some Beekman Brothers Goat soap - The Beekman Brothers are currently my favorite reality show on the Planet Green channel. If you're not watching it, you have to! It's so funny!!! Anyway, I hope that he likes it. I just had to share my excitement over my gift. It's fun to get a gift when it's not a holiday, but even more fun when it's from someone who you really love and admire.

Holiday Sparkle 2008

It was a very good year for me. High's would be directing the musical "The Life" in hollywood, meeting and working with Holly Woodlawn, road trip to San Fran with the boys, getting a tattoo, and dating the most guys I've ever dating in a single year. Low's would be my grandmother dying, car trouble, work, and a close friend getting ill. All in all it was probably the best year that I've ever had. I'm still broke and single, like I was a year ago. Somehow I feel like my soul is filled and I feel richer in ways that I can't explain. So in true New Years fashion, I'd like to list my homies and thank them for a wonderful year! If I've missed you, I apologize - it's late and I can't remember everybody ... I'm old!

CINDY - thank you for another wonderful Boofont year! this year we took a breather and only peformed the gigs that we wanted to, rather than just filling up our calender with boring club gigs. Thanks for all the laughs too, we have so much fun when we hang out! I always tell everyone you're my sister, but this year you truly were my family. Thanks for always sticking by me for all my hair brain ideas! and thanks for being there for me during The Life. I needed someone to talk to during the stressful times, so thank you. I know this year we're already getting some bookings, and for sure we are going to do Taboo!

MICHAEL - we took the year by storm! Thanks for always going to El Coyote with me and laughing with/at Fran! We have shared some very intimate stories about our guys, so thank you for that. I know I'm not always available to hang, so thank you for being understanding. We always talk about going camping, but let's really do it this year!!

WAYNE - are we still best friends? i forget. Kidding! i know we haven't been able to hang as much as either one of us would like, but we're still really close. Thank you for always texting me and checking up on me. Let's make sure that we do our Vegas trip this year! Bette is waiting for us!


ARAM - thanks for being my bar friend! also for all the fun laughs talking about boys. i appreciate all of your mix cds, and especially the song that you wrote for me for my birthday. i'll never forget it. Thank you!!!! it was the best gift I ever got. Here's to another great year of the faultline!

BETH - you're my oldest and dearest friend, but you aren't on myspace anymore! only facebook, so you'll probably never read this. but thank you for your mac and cheese reciepe! it's amazing, and everyone loved it at christmas dinner! i'm always gonna make it from now on, when i go to any functions.

ROBERT - I don't know where to begin. Thank you for such a fun year! I know we've been friends for several years, but this year was the best ever! Thanks for always hosting amazing potluck parties! and thank you for introducing me to so many amazing people. A special thank you for being my chaperone on dates, and for going to Walmart and A & W with me... FRIED CHEESE CURDS!! I've enjoyed all of our soupplantation dates, and trying to hook up with the help and customers. I even want to thank you for making me help you move! It was a fun day! and thanks for inviting me to go to folsom with you! you're one of my best friends, and i really love all the time we spend together. now if i can just get you on facebook this year!!! it's one of my goals this year!!!

MARC - thanks for always being a great supporter of me! and for knowing everything about everything! seriously, you are a great resource! last year we always made out, but this year we really got to know each other and had fun! shady shady shady fun!!! thanks for always asking about the boofonts, and for coming to the shows. i tried really hard this year to let you in on my "other life" as you use to say, and you're still friends with me! all of my favorite memories of 2008, include you in them! thank you for that.

LUTHER - i love me some mexican luther! thank you for being my personal photographer! you always capture the true essence of me. you also helped me out in a jam, with the boofonts and with the life. thank you for that. thanks also for your amazing brownies! i've had so much fun hanging out with you this year. it was only a year ago that i met you, and this year we really got to know each other. a special shout out goes to you for those damn good tamales!! i really hope we get to do more photoshoots together, maybe one's where I can pay you!!!
thanks for all the smiles and hugs! you're one in a trillion!

JASON - project runway nights at your house were amazing! thanks for always being the gracious hostess! and especially for always being the host, whether it was at your house, robert's potluck, or my christmas party! who knew you could make such great punch!?! i've really enjoyed getting to know you this year. thanks for arranging the san fran trip, it was a highlite of my year! we had so much fun! and thank you for always looking out for me, and making sure my glass is never empty!!!

Other honorable mentions -

Sunday - thanks for being there for me this year, and for keeping in touch with me and checking in with me. you lost another mother, i lost a best friend.

Ryan - you piss me off sometimes when you don't come to my parties, or when i invite you places and you don't go. and you piss me off when i try and be your life coach, and you don't listen, but i still love you. thanks for being a big supporter of my talents, you're always so complimentary and encouraging,

Milo - thanks for adding some excitment into my life. it's always fun hanging out with you.

Jeff - I know you're sick. get better. thank you for being my tattoo buddy, and for holding my hand!

Tammy Brown - you make me laugh girl! thanks for being a lady friend of mine.

Willam - you ain't right! thanks for all the fun eats and talking trash about people with me. if we would've went to high school together, we'd have been bff's. Gear up for Taboo, because it's gonna happen!

Bear411 - you gave me so many dates this year! thank you!

jaxx - you're the best doggie ever! thanks for sleeping with me when i was really sad.

Facebook - thank you. you've changed my life.

Morris Peeps - A big thank you to all the people I went to high school with, who now want to be my friend! Especially Na, Joe, Kim and ElizaBETH!!! We have so much fun talking about the past, and about the present. I love you all and wished I lived closer!

That's it. Sorry again if I left you out. It's probably because you didn't buy me a drink or dinner. All of the people above, did. This year, 2009, promises to be another good one. Thanks again to everyone who touched my life this year, and to everyone who touched me inappropriately.

cheers and happy new year everyone,

joe

REHAB

Last month I was really into the british singer, Lilly Allen. She was up for some Brit award, but when asked if she would win she said that she was sure that Amy Winehouse should and would win. I went straight to google and typed in her name and I was hooked! Her look isn't new, her sound isn't new - but nobody is doing what she's doing right now and what she does is amazing! I couldn't quit talking about her, to anyone who would listen! Luckily my friend Joey was already two steps ahead of me and loved her too! A couple weeks ago he told me she was playing at the Roxy. We wanted to go, but tickets sold out really fast. So we planned to go and hang out and try and get tickets. We arrived early enough to hear her sound check - AMAZING! and then we saw her come out of the Roxy and drive away, obviously to get her Boufant ready! So decided to go back to my house, so I could use the loo - and Joey checked craigslist to see if there were tickets for sale. No luck! They had them for sale for $200!! Crazy!!! We discussed not going back, but decided to put "The Secret" to use and tell the universe we needed tickets. We parked and waited outside the Roxy, and then a miracle happened - I heard my name JOE - it was my friend Marc! He asked if we had tickets, we said no and he said hold on ... and low and behold he got us tickets! For Free!!!! We couldn't believe it! Joey and I kept looking at each other in disbelief. We were in! The concert was amazing, we were up front and it was like a dream come true. She was amazing, looked amazing and was a hot mess.








After the show, we stayed to see if we could meet her. There were celebs everywhere, and two feet in front of us and behind us! Bruce Willis, Courtney Love, Perez Hilton, John Salley, and half the cast of Grey's Anatomy - whom I see all over town by the way, and could write a whole other blog about them.



Then we hit gold! We were approved! We went up stairs to the Roxy on the Rocks, and met her! She was really sweet and really nice, considering that everyone was freaking out - myself included. Everyone wanted a piece of her! It was great! We also heard that she might be cancelling her show tonight at Spaceland, so I'm glad we went last night. It was magical, and a memory I'll always have. Thanks Marc! You're the best! Oh, and Lilly Allen was right. Amy won that Brit Award.

myspace deletion policy

Last week I was sick. I mean really sick. The kind of sick that you have as a kid when you are out of school for a week, and have tons of homework to make up. That kind of sick. Well during my "I'm at home bored and sick ... blah blah blah....." I decided to delete some people off of my myspace. I usually do this once every 3 months, and it makes me feel happy. This time was different. I was out for blood. I decided I would delete everyone who I had thought would not have seen my top 5 movies of all time. Made sense to me. I treat my top 5 very seriously. These movies are what shaped who I am today. So if you haven't seen any or all of the top 5, then you best do it! Well that is if you want to be my myspace friend. I know, I am so 7th grade right now. WHATEVER PEOPLE! I was sick and really tired of the chubby slackers asking to be my friend. I have enough friends! Good friends! Friends who go to Soupplantation with me dammit!!!!!!! The best part was one of the guys I deleted messaged me the very next day. He didn't ask me why I deleted him, he asked me questions like he didn't remember me! SEE! I was sure he hadn't seen the top 5, and he needed to be cut off of the fabulousness that is joeyg!!! It ended up being 60 people I deleted. Here's my top 5. I'm 100% serious......


1. Muriel's Wedding
2. Grey Gardens
3. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
4. Tarnation
5. Priscilla Queen of the Desert

you know your party is a hit when.....

1. you go thru 3 bags of ice
2. you run out of all mixers, and have to use the backup Alize' from the trunk of your car
3. your nieghbor calls the landlord
4. porn stars show up
5. you start answering the door for the first hour, then give up and just drink
6. your roommate has many "admirer's" who all show up at once
7. your niegbor sends you at text saying he's calling the cops
8. friends start taking pictures for their myspace profile
9. all the food runs out, including the bad costco dip
10. porn stars get naked in your bedroom
11. you go downstairs and start a fight with your neighbor with a giant martini in hand
12. one of your roommates just goes missing
13. your puppy licks up spilled alcohol and then vomits on the carpet
14. your roommates friends give you dirty looks for having porn stars at your party
15. you tell your nieghbor that it's christmas time, and people have parties and you apologize for him being a jew and not understanding
16. some guy visiting from new york, who you don't know, asks where the drugs are and everyone laughs
17. you get a "naked girls holding guns" calendar from the gift exchange
18. you go to bed at 4 am and have to be up at 8am
19. you wake up and find random people sleeping in your living room
20. you get an 8 paragraph email from your neighbor the next day demanding an apology

halloween 2006

it was an amazing halloween. the best one i have had in LA, that's for sure. i think it was fun because people kept yelling at me "ugly betty" and last year nobody knew who i was. i was vicky pollard from little britian last year, so this year i chose a tv character from american tv! i went with my bestie wayne, who went as nacho libre. he got so much attention! it was crazy!!! he had about 4 nacho's counterparts (although he was the best one) and i had 4 too. i was the best, but this one girl had a better wig and she made a "b" necklace. my poncho rocked, and i was so happy how it turned out! i am so crafty when i put my mind to it. i did get a little over the crowds, and there were way more straight people than gay people this year. i think it's funny that they can party with us on halloween, but then the rest of the year they make fun of us. oh well. i didn't realize until this year that west hollywood has the biggest halloween celebration of anywhere. pretty cool. OH, i almost forgot. a childhood dream came true tonight too, we saw tiffany in concert! she performed and was great, even though wayne hated her. i love her, and always have. here are some fun photos of us being silly. i didn't take too many pictures because my battery was low.

CATS!!

I am glowing. I have been rejuvinated! The reason is because this past week at YADA we presented CATS the musical. Now most people think, isn't that a dumb musical? Well, it might be but the kids loved it. in addition to directing and music directing all the classes, I also worked the hardest I have ever worked. It was really a team effort because the whole staff came together to have the best show possible. We all worked on the set, costumes and especially the makeup! It took 3 of us to do the makeup, and 2 people to do the hair. We spent long hours putting the kids in costumes and makeup. All the kids may have not sung the right notes, they may have messed up the choreography, and they might have missed a line here or there - but they were all in character the whole time. They were cats, and the audience knew it. Even the teen class, who were the hardest to deal with, pulled through and gave an amazing performance. I got a little teary eyed during the show. To see how happy the kids were, and to feel how excited everyone was to be there at work. It was really something. I don't know if I will ever have that experience again.

I am especially proud of this clip because this diva 'grizabella' is only 6 years old. I did her makeup, and styled the wig. I also made the funny fingernail gloves that she is wearing.